


Shark Repellent

by JSwriter



Category: Henry Danger (TV)
Genre: Batman (1966) - Freeform, Batman the Movie (1966), Captain Man - Freeform, Funny, Gen, Hilarious, Inside jokes, Kid Danger, Phone Shark, Shark Repellant, haha - Freeform, hm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23785378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JSwriter/pseuds/JSwriter
Summary: Captain Man and Kid Danger were to oversee a prisoner transfer involving the several of the city’s prisoners being handed over to state officials to be sent to state prison. One of those was the phone shark, who is usually tame until he senses a phone, then violently wreaks havoc until he digs his teeth into it. All they had to do was watch without any sign of a phone but, someone screws it up. Now, Captain Man and Kid Danger followed the phone shark to the old Frittles factory and are about to strike when Kid Danger mishears Captain Man's plan of attack leading to a humorous conversation of a very old, classic gag (the hint is in the title).
Kudos: 5





	Shark Repellent

**Author's Note:**

> Idk about anyone else, but this Coronavirus has got me watching stuff that's really outside of my age group. Just binge-watched the entire Henry Danger series and thought this scene would fit perfectly well into the scope of the show; so I thought I'd write it for a few laughs and get my writing juices going.

“I can’t believe the phone shark escaped,” Kid Danger says.  
“I can,” says Captain Man, looking at him with blame.  
“How was I supposed to know he could eat my phone while in the prison bus?”  
“No phones until he’s gone, didn’t I say that? I said NO PHONES until he is GONE and OUT of sight!”  
“Okay okay, sorry Ray”

Captain Man motions for Henry’s silence. He quietly goes steps through the entrance of the old Frittles factory that had blown up just a year before. Not much is left, just an old rusty metal frame, illuminated by the moonlit sky. Captain Man and Kid Danger quietly sneak around the premises until the lay eyes on the Phone Shark, who is hunched over, chewing on Henry’s phone, next to a large vat filled with a mysterious murky substance. Captain Man and Kid Danger quietly sneak over to the railing on the floor above to get a better look at the villain below.

“Ew gross, what is that?” Kid Danger whispers.  
“Who knows, that vat could be filled with anything,” says Captain Man.  
Kid Danger spies the Phone Shark’s snack. “Aw dude, that’s my phone!”  
“Let it go kid!” Captain Man holds him back. “Your phone is gone. Moved on to a better place.”  
“I didn’t even get to say good-bye.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better… this is all your fault.”  
“Wha- my fault?”  
“NO PHONES UNTIL HE IS GONE!”  
“Alright alright alright,” Henry taps him with the back of his hand to shush him. “That’s enough, I GET IT.”  
Ray still looks at him with blame and mumbles under his breath. “It is your fault…”

“No time for that, we’ve got bigger things to worry about,” Kid Danger says. “Like how are we gonna stop the phone shark?”

“With this,” Captain Man holds his fist in the air.  
“Your fist? That’s not gonna work.”  
“It always works, I’m indestructible.”  
“It didn’t work when you punched him at the bus. He barely felt it.”  
“Riiiiight, he did seem to be wearing some sort of shock absorbing armor under his prison uniform. Weird. I wonder where he got it.”  
“No idea dude, maybe there’s some kinda coup going on in the inside.”  
“A what?”  
“A coup.”  
Captain Man blankly stares at Kid Danger. “I don- I dunno what that means.”  
“Oh, it means-“  
“No time for that. Now, what are we going to do about the Phone Shark?”  
“But that’s what I just asked you.”  
“Right.”  
“And your idea was to punch him. Again.”  
“Right.”  
“And why do you think that’s a good idea?”  
“Because Henry, I’ve got shock repellent.”  
Kid Danger looks confused and looks around in disbelief, before making eye contact again.  
“I’m sorry, say what?”  
“Shock repellent.”

Kid Danger gets closer, looking excited. “You have shark repellent dude?” He whispers.  
“Hm?” Captain Man says.  
“You have shark repellent dude?”  
“No, why would I have shark repellent?”  
“I dunno, you said you had shark repellent.”  
“I said shock repellent. Shock!”  
“Oh good, cuz shark repellent would be stupid.”  
“There's no such thing as shark repellent kid.”  
“I mean, I've heard of it before.”  
“You have not.”  
“Have too.”  
“Oh yeah, then how was it used?”  
“Well apparently this guy used it on a shark in the ocean when he was dangling from a helicopter ladder.”  
“That did not happen.”  
“It did.”  
“Where?”  
“Saw it in a movie once.”  
“Knew it.” Captain Man turns away, towards the villain below. “Also, that movie sounds lame.”  
“But really funny tho.”

Captain Man rolls his eyes and crouches down, getting ready to strike. “Okay, watch my back.”  
“Hm?” Kid Danger says, not paying attention as Captain Man jumps down onto the phone shark below.  
“Ooh,” Henry says looking down as he cringes. “That’s gonna hurt.”

Kid Danger lets Captain Man get a few punches in and waits to see if he’s needed, which surprisingly he isn’t. Ray seemed to handle himself this time using his, shark repellent or whatever he called it. He jumps down after Ray has subdued the criminal.

“Ha!” Ray stabs the air in Henry’s direction in an “I told you so” manner. “And that was without any of your precious “shark” repellent!”  
“Okay Ray, I got it.”  
“Ugh,” Ray leans over out of breath.  
“You gonna call the cops?” asks Henry.  
Captain Man hands him his phone. “You do it.”  
Henry calls the cops to pick up the criminal as Ray leans on a railing to catch his breath. The criminal out cold at his feet.  
“The police are on their way,” Henry says as he hands Ray back his phone. They both sit on the floor in silence for a few minutes until they can hear sirens outside, then get up to leave.  
“So…” Ray starts, looking shy.  
“What?” Henry looks at Ray, noticing the look on his face and smiles. “You wanna go watch that movie don’t you?”  
“Yes please! It just sounds so dumb.”  
“So dumb. It’s hilarious dude!”

**Author's Note:**

> For those who haven't gotten it (I'm sure most of you have but those much younger might not), there is a scene from the old 1966 Batman movie that involves Batman spraying a shark with "Shark Repellant Bat-Spray." I thought that movie was great when I was eight, but looking back at it now... well you should probably just see for yourself (you can find the scene on youtube, search "Shark Repellent Bat Spray"). The entire scene is just super cringy and the butt of many jokes. It's both terrible and hilarious, which felt relevant for this show.
> 
> I envisioned it playing out as an actual scene in the show and so wrote it as such. I tried my best to capture each of their characters & dialogue perfectly and hope I pulled it off. Also, this is my first attempt at a fanfic of any kind (I really don't know how this works, lingo, terminology, etc). Please let me know what you think in the comments.


End file.
